Expectations
Expectations can set any relationship up for failure. However, unrealistic expectations can destroy your relationships. Stop expecting others to change in order to meet your wants and desires. Start owning your expectations by becoming honest with yourself. Use the questions below as a guide to help determine if your expectations are unrealistic.
1. Can I meet my own expectations?
2. Is my partner capable of meeting my demands?
3. Do I know anyone that can meet my desires?
4. Have I clearly communicated my expectations?
5. How often am I disappointed when others fail my needs?
6. Am I afraid of lowering my expectations?
7. Am I scared of being disappointed by others?
7. Am I scared of being disappointed by others?
8. Am I willing to give as much as I expect to receive?
9. Do I demand more than I give?
9. Do I demand more than I give?
10. Am I afraid of failure?
There’s a direct correlation with the meaning of the relationship and expectations. The more the relationship means to us, the more we demand from it. I’m not saying we should eliminate our desires, but rather be fair and judicious with our expectations. We need to recognize the significance and the meaning of our connections to have a full appreciation of them.
Can we handle losing the relationships we demand so much from? Watch out since most people do not tolerate unrealistic expectations indefinitely. Just remember that everyone that’s in a relationship with us is there because they’re volunteers and not hostages.
If your demands are affecting your relationships, give Fredericksburg Relationship Center a call or make your appointment with one of our counselors. We look forward to helping you grow. “Mending Hears & Lives.”
About the Author
Dr. Dave Jenkins, DMin, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist in the Northern Virginia area. He’s the founder of Fredericksburg Relationship Center, LLC. He’s been married to the same woman for 25 years and has four children and a daughter-in-law.
